So yesterday I was in my feelings BIG TIME. I honestly don't even know what brought it on but somehow I'm sitting in my car and this wave of sadness washes over me. Why was I sad you ask? Because I'm still single. :(
I don't want to hear the perpetual "Put yourself out there more" or "You're not alone, a lot of people are single" or the worst one, "It will happen one day." SCREW ALL THAT CRAP! I know I'm being a little melodramatic but whatever.
MOST people that are in relationships, or easily acquire relationships, look at dating like a job. They act like you can just send your dating resume out there complete with a cover letter and references and BAM you're attracting dates like moths to a flame. But in reality it doesn't work that way and because it doesn't work that way you start questioning yourself. Am I not smart enough? Am I not pretty enough? Am I indeed too shy? What's wrong with me??
Ok, in all honesty, I'm writing this because I feel stuck. I can blame it on Mother Nature that I wasn't born with magnetic charm or whatever but I know that's just silly. I understand that sometimes love just happens. You're in the right place at the right time with the right person and things just happen. I also understand that sometimes you meet someone and work at it until you fall in love with them. But none of that can be seen with 20/20 vision when you've been single for over a year and can't fathom the end being anytime soon. For a great portion of 2014 I tried really hard to improve my love life. In the beginning of 2014 I was kind of still dating this guy I'd been seeing for almost 2 years. However, that eventually fell off. I attempted an old flame... HUGE MISTAKE. I chilled on dating for awhile then tried to get back out there again. I went on a few dates which were ok but that's it. They were just "ok". It's a new year and I'm going to TRY to be optimistic and open to whatever comes my way but there's still a huge part of me that thinks I will be single for a vedddyy long time.
Anyway... that's enough of that rant. :-/