February 26, 2014

Real Life In Your 20s

I am almost 2 years into my 20s and already I can tell you it's not what I thought. People make it seem like your 20s is just so full of clarity, fun, and excitement but the reality is, your 20s is nothing but confusion and stress. When you're younger, you're suppose to have your whole life mapped out, know what college you're going to, know what you want to major in, start your career, and start a family all before you turn 30. To me that sounds like a lot of pressure to create this perfect life in just 10 years.

It's great to still be young and have so much life ahead of you but how are you suppose to enjoy it if all you can focus on is your next move? If you're not worrying about school, you're worrying about your job. If you're not stressing about bills to pay, you're stressing about if you're going to find love and have kids before you're 30. Where's the fun? Where's the excitement? Being that I'm at the younger end of my 20s I do feel like I have a lot of time to "set up" my life but here's the next issue... what do I want to do?

If you don't know what you want to do in the first few years of your 20s it feels like you're failing yourself... well that's how I feel. I feel like I've made a plan for everything- finish school by 24, get married by 25/26, have kids at 27-30, and live the rest of my life. But the reality is, I go to school, I go to work, I come home and do homework, then complain about going to work the next day. Occasionally I meet up with friends or go out and enjoy myself. Some say enjoy life as is and everything will fall into place and others say plan now then enjoy the rest of your life.. which is the right thing to do?

If you're in your mid 20s or older, I'm really asking for your advice. How did you manage your 20s? What got you through planning & setting up your schooling, career, and relationships so that the rest of your years can be enjoyed? I just feel stuck right now... :-/ 


  1. I say dont plan life- enjoy it as it comes and everything else will fall into place. Planning the way youre doing is basically setting yourself up to be disappointed if your plan don't go through or setting u up to b bored as hell bc all u focus on is school,work & finding love..the 3 main things that u plan.
    Idk what advice to give.. alls i know is ,is that i dont plan things...i just live and things happen and it's working out...but that would b difficult for u bc i have this whole free spirit thing going on-i do what i want,when i want..only if i really want to lol. U on the other hand have more strict responsibilities. ...so who knows. Hopefully u figure out a solution.

  2. Girl you're so right. I cant completely give up planning because i LOVEEEE planning things lol but I will not force myself to do things I really don't want to do if I dont have to do them. thanks for the advice boo!

  3. I’m 28 years old, single mom with one child living in an apartment.
    I tell you from my experience, planning and setting goals are the key. I tried the whole free spirit thing.
    In the long run, you will find it sounds good but it does not work.
    I started with a plan out of high school to go to college and get a degree. For a while, it was working until I allow myself to get sidetracked so I decided to take a break from school for a little while so I could work and save money and you no, live a little. Well, seven years later, still on the same job making $12:50 an hour, a baby, still living in an apartment and no degree. Yes, I’m upset with myself. If I had stayed in school, I would have been finished 4 years ago, making around $50-60 an hour and living in a home. I found myself asking, where did all that time go? I was no farther then I was when I started 10 years ago. As a fact, I am 10 years behind.
    I desire to have a home but I know that will not happen if I continue down this road. This is not the lifestyle I wanted for myself and definitely not for my son.
    I now have a plan and I have set goals for myself and will not stop until I reach them.
    I am back in school part time. I still have to work and pay the bills but I am so focused now.
    Looking back over my life, now in my late 20’s, I feel our teen years are to help prepare us for adulthood and our twenties are to prepare us for the lifestyle we want to live in the future.
    Do not stop planning and setting goals for yourself. If you do, one day for sure you will ask yourself, where all that time went, I wish I would have, I should have or I could have.
    Think of the lifestyle you want to have and live in the future for yourself and if you should get married and have children, you will be in a place of comfort.
    Just no, life will not wait for you so do not waste time but at the same time, don’t stress yourself out worrying about things you have no control over. God has His appoint time for you to meet that special person and start a family.

    1. I'm sorry that you had to experience all that but I'm glad that you are changing your life around! I really appreciate the advice! I've seen so many older people go about life in different ways but they never truly seem happy regardless of their path. I do realize I need some planning but I also realize I need to not stress too much and enjoy life as it goes along. It just kind of sucks that we are forced to figure this stuff out so young... but that's how life is at this time.. :-/

  4. We all have those mid-life crisis. It's sure a passing phase, but one must learn to adapt to events in their lives and learn ways to cope with them in other to avoid getting into depression, and feeling unfulfilled about life,


    1. That's so true.. I think in the past I couldn't cope with big changes and decisions like I face in my 20s but now that I'm older I'm figuring it out more. It's still tough though :(

  5. Please, don't feel sorry for me. I'm so glad I came to my senses. I'm so happy right now knowing I'm on the right track. Don't waste to much time trying to figure it out. Trust me, your 30's, 40's are just around the corner.
    Reread my life story above. Girl, just go for it!!!!

    1. Thank you soooooo much for giving my advice. I really do appreciate it! I'm really glad you're happy now and moving forward in life. I'm really going to try to plan things but not let everything stress me out. Ugghhh I don't even want to think about being 30/40 right now.. lol


Speak your mind & I'll return the love!! -Dianna