Rant: Bitter Love

So yesterday I was in my feelings BIG TIME. I honestly don't even know what brought it on but somehow I'm sitting in my car and this wave of sadness washes over me. Why was I sad you ask? Because I'm still single. :(

I don't want to hear the perpetual "Put yourself out there more" or "You're not alone, a lot of people are single" or the worst one, "It will happen one day." SCREW ALL THAT CRAP! I know I'm being a little melodramatic but whatever.

MOST people that are in relationships, or easily acquire relationships, look at dating like a job. They act like you can just send your dating resume out there complete with a cover letter and references and BAM you're attracting dates like moths to a flame. But in reality it doesn't work that way and because it doesn't work that way you start questioning yourself.  Am I not smart enough? Am I not pretty enough? Am I indeed too shy? What's wrong with me??

This is exactly where I'm at now. Logically I know there's nothing truly wrong with me that would make dating and my nonexistent love life such a hassle but dating isn't something you can always look at logically. The truth is some people have certain qualities about them that make dating a breeze and some don't. If you are in the "don't" category then you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Some people radiate this natural confidence, charm, and good vibes while other have to work on those qualities. 

Ok, in all honesty, I'm writing this because I feel stuck. I can blame it on Mother Nature that I wasn't born with magnetic charm or whatever but I know that's just silly. I understand that sometimes love just happens. You're in the right place at the right time with the right person and things just happen. I also understand that sometimes you meet someone and work at it until you fall in love with them. But none of that can be seen with 20/20 vision when you've been single for over a year and can't fathom the end being anytime soon. For a great portion of 2014 I tried really hard to improve my love life. In the beginning of 2014 I was kind of still dating this guy I'd been seeing for almost 2 years. However, that eventually fell off. I attempted an old flame... HUGE MISTAKE. I chilled on dating for awhile then tried to get back out there again. I went on a few dates which were ok but that's it. They were just "ok". It's a new year and I'm going to TRY to be optimistic and open to whatever comes my way but there's still a huge part of me that thinks I will be single for a vedddyy long time. 

Anyway... that's enough of that rant. :-/