Orange is the New Black Season 4 Review

First, let me start off by saying this review does contain SPOILERS and my own personal opinion about the new season. If you will be offended by either one then please stop reading here!

Now for the people that are still with me, I would like to say that I was greatly offended and disappointed by OITNB season 4. I was so excited to finally see how the new budget cuts an influx of new inmates would change Litchfield but it seems like this season spiraled down a racist, sexist rabbit hole that was borderline traumatizing. 

I'm not sure if the intent of this season was to expose the prison industry and really shed light on American social issues or to inspire the "wow/shock" factor and boost ratings.. either way, this season didn't sit right with me. Let's see, Piper starts a white supremacy group that targets everyone. Piper also tips the guards off to an illegal business (that she started) which ended up in the Hispanic population being harassed. Sofia gets sent to solitary confinement for getting jumped while Judy King gets the royal treatment and 24/7 security. Caputo and MCC turn their cheeks while the guards constantly discriminate and mistreat the inmates. A huge light was shed on how mental illness is treated in the legal system. Then the icing on the cake, the final episodes is a portrayal of police brutality on a nonviolent, non-threatening black inmate Poussey that leads to her death. When they finally announce the incident, it's to protect the guard. WTFFFF?! 

It did not seem like this season had too many happy moments. Something offensive was either said or done at every twist and turn. Some characters brought a bit of light to the season but were ultimately flushed out by racist, ignorant, and violent darkness. 

I truly hope the is a huge moral turnaround in the next season because if not then I don't think my heart will be able to take it. 

What did you think about season 4?? 

I'VE LOST MY WAY...

I've lost my way and I don't know how to get back

I started off leaving breadcrumbs but somehow I lost track

They say getting lost is all the rage

But most days I feel like a story with a missing page

Just a beginning and some distorted countdown to my demise

Never knowing what time is, just how it flies

Reminiscing on the lies, wondering eyes, and never being that wise

Tears shed and muffled cries

Oh, how I despise

Getting lost, losing my way

Gone without a trace, not even a sound

But do I even want to be found?

-Dianna M.

2014 Reflection: 5 Hits & Misses

2014 is coming to a close and I think now is an excellent time to reflect on the good, the bad, and the ugly of the past 365 days. Lately, I've been reading my old diaries and realized this year was kind of a roller coaster for me. If you'd like to check out my 2013 hits and misses click [Here]. Without further ado, let's jump right into my 2014 hits & misses!! 

My 5 Hits

1. I finished my AA and start working on my BA in January!!!! :)
2. I was more adventurous (going on cruise, trying the painting class, archery)
3. I made a huge effort to be healthier yay!
4. Maintained a decent amount in my savings account
5. I was open to dating different types of guys 

My 5 Misses

1. I didn't move out like I had planned
2. I went through a 2 month long deep depression :(
3. Of course there were a few boy mistakes smh 
4. I didn't stick to a workout schedule at allllll 
5. I fell off with blogging towards the end of the year 

This year was def kinda crazy for me and I learned A LOTTTT about myself. I'm really going to use this reflection when I'm making my 2015 resolutions. Comment below with some of your 2014 hits and misses!! Love yaaaa :)

Life Changes

I think life just served me up a bigggg ol bowl of "I told you so" by making me realize not to put all my eggs in one basket. I just got my rejection letter from this program I applied to. It suuuccckkkkkssss but what makes me feel worse than not getting in is not being sure of what's next. If you knew me you'd know I LIVEEEE for planning things. I plan, plan, and plan some more even if I don't actually act on it. It just brings me comfort to have my thoughts and options written out. Well, I guess I was so sure I'd get into the program that I only created a half-ass backup plan. So now I'm about to finish my last semester of my AA and have to face the reality of going to university and being in all that craziness. Don't get me wrong, part of me is elated that I get to experience university since I didn't go fresh out of high school. But....then there is that scared part of me that wonders if I will even do well in university, will i find the right major, will things be as easy as they have been???? Ahhhh... I have until January to get it together I guess.. I'll keep y'all updated on all that jazz. 

Lost Thoughts: Friendships, Moving, & DIY Projects

• F-R-I-E-N-D-S... I really don't use the term "friend" lightly. I think so many people call people they know or party buddy friends when really they're just associates. The people I call friends are the people that I KNOW will have my back any day, any time. I also call people my friend if I KNOW I'd do the same for them. When it comes to friends it has to be a two way street. I think as you get older you truly realize who your true friends are. People drop like flies as the years pass and you get to see who is really a ride or die. I think true friendships are relationships you don't have to force. You don't need to see each other everyday or talk every hour but know that they are always there for you. On the other hand, you don't have to hunt them down to chill either. I think a lot of great friendships fail because they are never let to air out, meaning you spend so much time together that you eventually get sick of each other and start drifting apart. But aye.. that's just my opinion. 

• So I officially decided I'm moving out this Summer!!!!! I'm so excited. Right now I'm trying to decide on who I want my roommate to be. I think I'm pretty sure who I'm going to choose but it's always a good idea to have a backup plan. You just never know how things will go. I think I'm just ready to not be under my parents & family and kind of come into my own. I'm definitely scared because being a college student and working, it's not like I'm making fat stacks so that's always scary. But in life you either sink or swim, hopefully I swim. But, I just keep looking at the bright side which is.... I GET TO DECORATEEEEE! I love decorating omg so this is like heaven for me! :)

• Speaking of decorating, I've been going to town with researching DIY projects I can do. I pretty much have my whole room planned out and the best part is most of the projects are CHEEAAAPPPP!! Looking fabu & saving money, whaatttt?!! I'm thinking about selling some of my DIY project since I love making them. After all I can use the extra cash since I'm moving! lol :) 

Real Life In Your 20s

I am almost 2 years into my 20s and already I can tell you it's not what I thought. People make it seem like your 20s is just so full of clarity, fun, and excitement but the reality is, your 20s is nothing but confusion and stress. When you're younger, you're suppose to have your whole life mapped out, know what college you're going to, know what you want to major in, start your career, and start a family all before you turn 30. To me that sounds like a lot of pressure to create this perfect life in just 10 years.

It's great to still be young and have so much life ahead of you but how are you suppose to enjoy it if all you can focus on is your next move? If you're not worrying about school, you're worrying about your job. If you're not stressing about bills to pay, you're stressing about if you're going to find love and have kids before you're 30. Where's the fun? Where's the excitement? Being that I'm at the younger end of my 20s I do feel like I have a lot of time to "set up" my life but here's the next issue... what do I want to do?

If you don't know what you want to do in the first few years of your 20s it feels like you're failing yourself... well that's how I feel. I feel like I've made a plan for everything- finish school by 24, get married by 25/26, have kids at 27-30, and live the rest of my life. But the reality is, I go to school, I go to work, I come home and do homework, then complain about going to work the next day. Occasionally I meet up with friends or go out and enjoy myself. Some say enjoy life as is and everything will fall into place and others say plan now then enjoy the rest of your life.. which is the right thing to do?

If you're in your mid 20s or older, I'm really asking for your advice. How did you manage your 20s? What got you through planning & setting up your schooling, career, and relationships so that the rest of your years can be enjoyed? I just feel stuck right now... :-/ 

Unrequited Love

Oh love, love

What is thee

Just a bunch of words 

Spoken unto me

You make such promises

Of happiness to come

Yet you're the one thing people run from

How can I keep you

Even for a minute

I want to bask in your glow

To speak you and really mean it

Or hear your sweet name

Feel you wild and untamed

I want you to be the truth

To believe in your existence 

But I need some proof

Show yourself to me love

Show me that you're real

Fix me, fix me

My heart wants to be healed

 By Dianna <3

Love Woes

I truly dislike stubborn guys! I met this guy about 2 years ago that I really like. We "dated" for a while and now it's not as rock solid. The thing is, we really connect when we are together and I could definitely see myself with him for a while. There's only oneeeeee problem.... he doesn't want a girlfriend :( :( :( ughhhh! I understand his reason behind this craycray idea but it still sucks. For the most part he treats me like a girlfriend when I'm with him, he's a really great friend, he's helped me SO MUCH as a person, and I know he cares for me.. but I also know it's not enough. 

It's so hard to move on from someone that thus far has been really good to you and makes you feel special when you've never really felt special before. It's even harder to realize that someone else is going to reap the benefits you worked so hard to get. I really don't know what to do at this point because I know no time soon is he going to want to commit and there's no guarantee I'd be the one he chooses buuuttt... I really like him. I don't know how some chicks can so easily walk away from what they want when its not right. I guess I just need to be stronger and learn to let my brain lead and my heart follow. 

2014 New Year's Resolutions

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the new year is finally among us!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

In my previous post I talked about the highs and lows to this past year (click here) & how I'd take my lows and turn them into 2014 New Year's Resolutions so without further ado here they are!!!

1. Start the year off with a CLEANNNN room! 
2. Create a healthy natural hair regimen (I've been very naughty to my hair this past year)
3. Finish my AA & start my bachelor's degree 
4. Actually stay MOTIVATED and get healthier & fit 
5. Be more financially responsible & get my own place 
6. Get rid of my social media dead weight (delete drama loving peeps off Facebook, clear out my email inbox, delete unused phone numbers, etc)
7. Go on a new adventure with my friends
8. Find a hobby I really enjoy & stick with it 
9. Update my blog at least 4 times a month
10. Find happiness & peace within myself :)

What are your 2014 New Year's Resolutions?

Red, Green, and The Blues

Today has been a depressing day. I went to the store and was at a total loss for what to get my brother (the boy has basically everything) and the stores were a complete mess which is expected at this time. Then I planned to by myself a new purse for Christmas and was completely disappointed by the selection at 3 different stores. I'm a HUGEEEEEE purse junkie & all the purses at the stores just looked blahhh. But what really got me down is I found out it's going to take about $600 to fix the door that I broke (ughhh stupid me!!) and I don't have that kind of cheddah on me right now. :( This year Christmas just doesn't feel like Christmas. We didn't decorate, no tree up, etc. I just want this holiday season to be over and start the new year. Hopefully things will look brighter tomorrow. 

Anyone else feeling the holiday blues?

Heat Of The Moment

I'm so pissed at myself! Last night I came home and did a stupid thing. I broke something that's going to cost me a HUGEEE chunk of change to fix. I hate when sometimes you let your anger and frustration get the best of you that you just don't think. Now I'm paying for it. I really need to learn to control myself because sometimes I do make rash decisions for no damn reason. Blahhhhh

Love Where Art Thou?

Love, love, love. What is love? How do you even know when you've felt it? How do you know you're not just being stupid mistaking fear of loneliness or lust or whatever other emotion for love? Blahhhhhhhhh

What is a Relationship?

Is it just me or has our generations' view on relationships taken a sharrrrppp left? I understand its not like the 50s anymore with the wife in the kitchen and the husband working a 9-5 Monday - Friday. But dangg, these days you don't even know what's going on between two people. Honestly I don't even think people are in relationships anymore. If you're not completely single, you're married because "we're dating" can mean anything from "we actually want to be together" to "we mess around 3 days a week." SHEESH!

Who is to blame for all this relationship confusion? On one hand I could say men have started this fad called "no titles." Basically, you talk and act like you're in a relationship without any of the commitment. On the other hand, I could say women have accepted the "no titles" ordeal and have tricked themselves into thinking its okay to be someone's backup. But honestly, I truly blame it on people's fear of being alone, man or woman. Most people these days are so unhappy with themselves and look for anyone that will give them attentions, even if its negative. We jump from person to person to have something to do on boring Tuesday nights and we fool ourselves into thinking "this is better than being alone." But it's not! I use to be like that. Thinking if I had one guy to always run to when I'm feeling down and alone that I'd be happier. However, it didn't work out that way. I didn't realize that even though I initially agreed to this "no titles" bullshit, I'd eventually catch feelings for these guys and want more. They'd tell me no and I was stuck. Stuck because I let them have power over my feelings, because I was so unhappy alone. I'd let my heart believe it was a relationship even though my brain was screaming HELL NO!

Eventually I broke myself out of that and I now want a true, functional relationship. You first have to be content with being single and enjoy your own company. Once you can master that, you will be able to say no to these unhealthy no strings attached bullshit relations and won't settle for anything less than you deserve. It just sucks that not enough people realize this and continue no title relationships which makes it harder to actually meet someone that DOES want a serious relationship. ughh.. I'm rambling now.. lol bye :)